Monday, 21 September 2009

"I don’t know who the **** Shaun Beeb is"

After being anally violated by both my own bad play and the IPoker rng over the last six weeks, I ran absolutely nauseatingly good HU this weekend. I was up around $500 yesterday and $700 or so in total for the weekend, they must have read the instant message I sent to Wayne where I launched my toys out of the pram and said I was done playing on Chilli due to how bad I ran on there. Long may it continue. I have another lesson with Aero tomorrow, which I’m looking forward to.

Donkamenting last week started how it ended. Start:

End: Deep in the 20r on FTP my internet connection goes missing in action. I find out I came 16th. GG me.

West Ham good rolled by Liverpool on Saturday. I thought we did ok but they had a world-class forward and it showed. Zavon Hines did well and caused their defenders all sorts of problems. I’m not convinced by the new Italian fella – he looks about as fit as I am but delivers a good dead ball. F London Underground/The FA, who decided to shut all the tube lines and play the game anyway, which meant I didn’t get to go and had to listen to Chris Waddle talk utter bollocks on ESPN, the thick Geordie cunt.

Otherwise the Mancs beat City in the derby in the sixth week of injury time. I was sickened to see Ferg sharing a joke with Alan Wiley (4th official) afterwards, particularly after Wiley disallowing our goal up at Wigan due to him deciding it was the end of the first half. Wiley – you are a disgusting piece of shit, wankers like you and Graham Poll explain why everyone hates referees, laughing it up with Ferguson like you are great mates when he thinks you are a turd and will only entertain you in conversation because your mate on the pitch can’t read a watch. You were probably beaten up at school and I hope the chef is a City fan and wanks into your Chinese the next time you order a take-away, you cunt. Howard Webb also failed to award the most blatant penalty to Spurs against Chelsea which cost them a chance to equalise. Still, there’s no sympathy where they are concerned, hopefully Redknapp twitched another five years off his miserable lifespan when that happened.

The WCOOP main event day 1 ended today. When I look through the thread for the event on 2+2, I realise just how gross donkaments are. I have no idea how these guys play these things for those stakes (backers, I guess). But when I see guys like this, it reminds me of what great value tournament poker can be:

16 pages, but great entertainment

Oh, and I’m 34 this week. How did I get this old?

Monday, 14 September 2009

Par For The Course

I’ve been lazy of late in terms of updating the blog. I’ve thought about doing so, then have decided against it as I have had little to say of any interest.

I’ve done no donkamenting to speak of recently, but have played 5.5k hands of HU. I am down, although my AIEV is modestly positive. I’ll play well for a long period, then do something retarded and titly and hand over a load of hard earned winnings. Being 7 BI below AIEV for the month hasn’t helped, although I feel a lot happier with my game than I have in a while.

Wayne (Wonderflop) continues to do a lot of lucksacking recently at $100NL, which is good news. In all seriousness it looks like hard work is paying off, hopefully the trend will continue.

Otherwise I have got quite frustrated with wedding planning. Everything that comes up seems to lead to me getting pissed off with her indoors, and at a guess she gets pissed off with me as well. She has proposed a half-hourly meeting each week to discuss wedding plans and ensure things get done, which is seriously fucking annoying as was kind of planning on breezing through the forthcoming months and not getting too involved.

West Ham lost 1-0 at Wigan this weekend, after having this goal ruled out for the end of the first half (when the ball strikes Cole’s head is when the ref blows up). We were otherwise pretty poor as far as I can gather, although the new Italian fella hit the post with a cracking effort.

Stuff like this happens all the time, but it is absolutely no surprise to me to see Wiley make an enormous fuck up when he can simply blow up as the free-kick is taken. Is he going to blow up if Rooney rounds the keeper at Old Trafford and is about to roll the ball into an empty net? Of course not. I’ve never forgiven the cunt for the spineless display of refereeing he produced when Arsenal came to our place a couple of years ago and he basically handed the whistle to Fabregas and Flamini and let them get on with it.

Otherwise I watched “This Is England” on DVD over the weekend. It’s a pretty awesome film and captures quite a lot from the era fairly well. The kid that plays the lead character is amazing. It turns out that he had never acted before and wanted a fiver just for turning up for the audition. Nice to see the scally is alive and well.

We also had a presentation from the new CEO at work the other day. It was fairly standard stuff, the company is doing ok although a lot of shit still needs sorting regarding our integration at with the bank before we can operate as a coherent unit and not miss out.

I have no plans this week. Due to social arrangements I might have to give the West Ham vs. Liverpool game a miss next Saturday. Thursday her indoors has said she might be out for the night which clearly means donkamenting.

Friday, 4 September 2009

Stop Press - A Win!

Warning: upbeat post in progress. Look away now if you are expecting any of my usual whiny shit.

Her indoors was out on Wednesday so I decided to opt in for some donkamenting. After a recent slump I’ve decided to move down in limits and primarily stick to the below $100 buy ins, with the odd $163 thrown in.

Anyway, I shipped the $20r on Party for $2.8k, which was a welcome boost to morale. I came into the final table around 4/10, but with the Party structure this doesn’t really mean a lot. I then snap called a reshove with JJ when my opponent had KK, flopped quad jacks, and, in the words of Francis Begbie “after that, well, the game was mine.” Basically I had a pretty big chip lead at this point and proceeded to abuse the fuck out of people in the remaining shovefest as people are calling way too tight in these situations and simply trying to move up the pay ladder.
I also managed a creditable 17th in the $20 1r 1a on Stars. I was short and pretty card dead for the last 50 hands and busted shoving 55 over a limper’s KJ, who snap called. I played a little HU cash last night and have felt a lot more comfortable with my game of late.

It is international week on the football side this weekend, so I shall be hoping that the West Ham players involved come through unscathed. On deadline day we sold James Collins (for a pretty decent price) and addressed the striker shortage by signing, er, nobody, and coming out with some waffle about how a deal didn’t come off. I await the arrival of Mark Viduka, who is out of contract. Our accounts were (finally) released for the previous financial year and showed an enormous loss – congratulations to the Icelanders here, your reign was an utter fuck up.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Crap on your desk, dawg

I played a bunch of tournaments this weekend, with limited success. I managed a couple of min-cashes on Friday and Saturday night. On Sunday I won a small (60 man) $40 buy in on Party for $888. Not a reason to pop out the champagne corks but better than a kick in the nuts. At the same time I was in this I was down to the last two tables of the Stars $33/$10k guaranteed. With 14 players left I got all in with KK for the chip lead – unfortunately my opponent had AA and I failed to improve. Clearly Stars can suck my hairy nutsack – I felt I played pretty well all weekend and I could have done without the standard Poker Stars ass-fucking that I get every time I log on there and am seriously tempted to go to the Isle of Man and lay a steaming turd on the CEO’s desk as a token of my appreciation.

Heads-Up has been bad. I pretty much suck and need to do some work on my game, big time.

West Ham drew away at Blackburn this weekend. Tuesday against Millwall was a lot more exciting – massively over-hyped by the press and hugely under-policed. The last few times we have played them there have been more police than fucking supporters and it has passed off without much trouble. This time the police were utterly unprepared and outnumbered.

I’m not condoning what happened, but am pissed off at the media coverage. The things that need addressing are:
1) The two sets of people hate each other – like many other clans and tribes do across the world. You’ll never change it – accept it.
2) If there was a riot at Notting Hill Carnival people would (rightly) look at the police. Nobody would dare suggest banning the Carnival, we’re just too PC. And there are lots of stabbings etc. every year at the Carnival (I pick this as an example as it happened this weekend and I know a copper that used to work on it) – the statistics simply get massaged so that certain incidents aren’t attributed to the Carnival, when they blatantly are.
3) Millwall were not blameless in all of this – unless I imagined them launching plastics seats from their end and also imagined the monkey noises made at Carlton Cole.
4) The pitch invasions were just that. Nothing more. There was a pitch invasion at the Palace vs Man City game, which wasn’t front page news.
5) The press described it as “the worst violence in 30 years”. It wasn’t even the worst in the last year. I could go on all day about the various lies reported by the press but I can’t be bothered.

Next week is International week so should be quiet. It is the transfer deadline day today – we have brought in an Italian mentalist with tattoos and wild hair (Brescia) and some reserve defender from Fiorentina, shipped out Savio and look to be moving James Collins on to Villa. We could do with another forward as well but I dare say we won’t be getting one.
Adios, bishes.